First Time
by StandardTaaay
Summary: Join Savannah as she tackles her junior year while in a residential treatment center.
1. Prologue

Hi, I'm Savannah. I'm seventeen, a junior in high school, and I'm in a treatment center. Wonderful way to spend your junior year, huh? I'm kind of short, I have brown hair, and brown eyes. I'm not that pretty or anything. I'm just.. me.

My best girl friend is my neighbor Halley. She's tall, has blonde curls, blue eyes, and an amazing fashion sense. She is so gorgeous, I can't stand it. She has been in here way longer than I have, but she still has so many problems. Yet, she is still the most caring and compassionate person I have ever met.

Across the hall from my room is Jesse. He's tall, has blonde hair, and the most appealing blue eyes. He's either really mysterious or he's super duper shy, we aren't quite sure which.

Across from Halley is Ricky, he's our best guy friend. Ricky's my height, so he's kind of short, he has brown eyes, soft light brown hair, and great style. He seriously is one of the sweetest guys I have ever met, and he would do anything to see a girl smile.

Finally, at the end of our wing is John. He's our wing leader and chaperone. He got depressed and suicidal when he turned 18, but got help and that's when he realized that he wanted to help other people who were just like him. John is by far the coolest wing leader here though. Once a month, if we're all doing well with our treatments, he'll go out and buy us pizza and ice cream!

You'll meet a few more people in here, but those are all the people who are in my wing.


	2. Chapter 1

I was rudely awoken by a pounding on my door.

"Wake up!" Halley was yelling at me.

I rolled over to look at my clock: 7:03 AM. How in the hell this girl can be so damn perky at 7 AM, I have absolutely no idea.

"Go away!" I groaned.

Halley pounded some more on my door, "no! Come open up!"

I grumbled, but got up to unlock my door so she could come inside. "What do you want?" I asked, curling back up in my bed.

She sat down beside of me, "nothing in particular. I was just bored."

I looked over at her, "well, we don't have anything until 9, so I would like to get back to sleep, Hale."

"Fine, I'll just go bug, Ricky." She said, standing up and walking to my door. "Later, Van."

"Later, Hales," I said, closing my eyes once again.

"Vannnnnny!" Ricky yelled, as he jumped on top of me.

I groaned, "Riiickyy!"

"Good morning, " he said with a smile.

"It's 8:30," Halley informed me.

"You guys are such dicks," I said, rolling onto my back.

Ricky smirked, "I know I have a big one, no need to tell everyone."

Halley laughed, "oh, please! You are too scrawny to have a big one."

"Fine, I'll prove it too you!" He said, beginning to undo his belt buckle.

"Oh my god!" I shouted. "Please, keep your pants on!"

"Nobody wants to see that tiny thing!" Halley said, trying to hold back her laughter.

"You're just lucky I want to go to breakfast and not take you to the nurse," Ricky told her.

Halley couldn't contain her laughter any more, "why in the world would I be going to the nurse?"

He grinned, "you'd be passing out from the sight of this monster!"

"You wish you had a monster in your pants, Ricky," Halley said with a grin.

"Fine, you asked for it," he said, continuing to undo his pants.

"Nobody wants to see your dick!" I yelled, covering up my face.

John poked his head into my open door, "well, I chose the wrong time to make sure you all were awake."

I threw my hands up, as I was innocent. "It was all them, John!"

John just shook his head and chuckled, "yeah, well, just don't be late for breakfast, okay?"

Ricky's face was blood red, "we won't be..."

"Good," John said, turning to walk across the hallway to Jesse's room.

After a few moments of silence, Halley was the first to bust out laughing. "I cannot believe that just happened!" She said, doubling over in laughter.

"I know!" I said, putting my head on Ricky's shoulder as I was laughing uncontrollably.

We walked to our usual table after getting our breakfast. I got a bowl of fruit, strawberry yogurt, and a cup of freshly squeezed orange juice. This was my usual diet for breakfast, as it is the healthiest for me.

Mari was already at our table, waiting for us to get there. Once she saw us, she flashed one of her gorgeous smiles. "Good morning," she said.

Ricky took the seat right beside of her and smiled, "good morning, Mari."

Halley and I looked at each other with a smile, and continued to tell Mari "good morning" also.

"How are you today?" Ricky asked her.

Mari was looking at her plate and picking at her food with her fork. "I'm okay," she said, not removing her eyes from her fruit.

Ricky leaned closer to her and whispered, "it's okay, ya know? You can eat, Mar."

She looked up at him and gave a little smile, before getting a strawberry on her fork and eating it. He returned a smile to her and began to eat his own food.

Halley leaned over to me and whispered in my ear, "he sooooo likes her!"

"I know," I whispered back. "It's so cute."

"He needs to make his move! They would be so adorable," she gushed.

Just then Jesse came walking by, his tray in hand, and Halley's eyes darted to him. "God, he's so gorgeous," she sighed.

"Does he ever talk to anyone?" Mari asked.

"I've only seen him really have a conversation with John," I told her.

We continued our little talks until Alex walked into the cafeteria and began to speak.

"It's almost time for morning reflections," she informed us. "So finish up your breakfast and begin heading back to your rooms."

We were all done, so we walked with Mari to her room since her's is right by the cafeteria in the East Wing, before Halley, Ricky, and I went back to our rooms in the West Wing. We went into our respectable rooms as the bell rang, telling us that reflections was beginning.

I took the half an hour to continue reading on _Thirteen Reasons Why _by Jay Asher.

Once it was 11 and reflections were over, Halley and Ricky came over again.

"Why don't you just talk to Jesse?" Ricky asked Halley.

"I can't just go and talk to him!" She shouted.

Ricky made a face, "why not?"

Halley's voice got quieter and she mumbled, "I don't know what to say to him."

"Just go and say hi, stupid!" He told her.

"I don't see you doing anything with Mari, so I don't want to hear it," Halley said, crossing her arms over her chest. She could be stubborn when she really wanted to be.

Kennedy, central wing's leader, poked his head into my room. "Savannah, I was just in the main office and they asked me to pass along to you that you have a visitor," he told me.

"Oh, okay," I said, standing up. "Thanks, Kennedy."

"Who's here?" Halley asked.

I shrugged my shoulders, "I have no idea. I wasn't expecting anyone."

"Well, have fun!" Ricky told me, with a smile.

"Oh, shut up," I told him as I left my room.

As I walked the short walk from my room to the visiting room, I pondered over who could be here for me. Maybe my mom finally decided to come see me! Oh, who am I kidding? My mom doesn't give a crap about me. She locked me up here because she wanted to stop worrying about if I was going to kill myself on her property or not.

I was so surprised when I turned the corner into the visiting room that James was standing in there. His dark hair still as long and shaggy as I remember it, his skinny jeans hanging loosely off his legs, and his black cardigan covering his plain white tee. He was still as gorgeous as ever...

"James? What are you doing here?" I asked, stopping a few feet from him.

He turned to face me, and his piercing blue eyes catching my brown ones. "I just had to see you, Vannah," he told me.

I was choking back the tears, it was his fault that I was sitting in here today and I want to get better, not worry about him right now. "Why?"

He closed the distance between us, "I have missed you. I can't stop thinking about you and what I did, I wish I could take it all back."

I backed away from him, "Don't tell me that. Shut up."

"I'm just being honest, baby," he said, closing the space between us again.

"No, James," I told him. "Please, just stop! I'm actually doing well, I don't need you coming back to screw it all up again."

He placed his hand on my cheek, "I just want you better..."

I turned my face from him to keep his hand away from me. "If that is what you want, then you will leave and never come back," I told him, coldly.

"Savannah, please. I just want you back, what can I do?"

"Leave."

He pulled me close to him, "Savannah, I love you. Please tell me what I can do for you to forgive me?"

I shuddered from his touch. I had missed it so much, but how could I just let him right back in after what he did?

"You have to earn my forgiveness," I said, trying not to get caught up in him.

"How?" He asked, looking at me with his big blue eyes.

All of my walls came crumbling down as soon as I made eye contact. He had me, he always has.

"I don't know..." I managed to get out.

"Please, just don't hate me anymore..."

I finally kept eye contact with him, "I don't hate you, James."

He flashed a little smile, "good, because I love you."

"I- I love you, too."

He leaned in, so his lips were just inches from mine and whispered, "good."

When our lips finally met, I melted. There was absolutely no backing out of this now, I was already reeled back in by him and there was no apparent way to break the line again. I couldn't get away, and I don't know how well this is going to go for my treatment...

Our lips finally parted, and James shot me one of his gorgeous smiles. "They're still as amazing as I remember."

I felt my cheeks flush, "no doubt."

I heard John's voice before I saw him. He had poked his head in the door because it was about time for elective to begin and for me to get to Art.

"Savannah," he started, "you better be heading to elective."

I know by the time I was facing him, my cheeks were even more red. I wonder just how much of that had he seen?

"Thanks, John," I said. "I'll be on my way in a second."

"Okay, just don't be late," he told me before he left the room again.

I turned back to face James.

"You have to go?" He asked.

"Yeah," I replied. "I have art therapy."

"But it's the weekend, why do you have stuff to do?"

Here comes his insensitive and ignorant acts. "Just because it is the weekend, doesn't mean I get to have a break," I told him. "I'm not here to have fun with new people, I'm here to get over my depression, self-harm, and suicidal feelings. You can just leave if you're going to be like this. Seriously, don't even come back, James!"

His face was full of shock, "Vannah, I didn't know. How was I supposed to know when I never get to see you or talk to you? I have no idea what goes on in here! Don't even try to make me be the bad guy here, when you're the one who never talked to me!"

"Because I want to get better, and you don't make me better!"

"Fine, whatever," he said, brushing past me and walking right out the door.

I knew that this was going to happen. James always has to be right and nothing is ever his fault. This is why I kept from talking to him. It's always about James and that is never going to change. Yet, knowing this doesn't keep my heart from breaking as I watched him walk right out that door and leave me again.


End file.
